For the Love of Almonds

It’s one of those beautiful afternoons as you pull into a parking spot just a few spaces from the door, pleased with the unexpected find. You hum to yourself as you hop out of your car cuz everything’s going just right, and you really are on your game.

You scuttle into the grocery store; pick up coffee, pasta, and brown sugar; then you head to the bulk foods section for one more thing. You grab a little plastic bag and a twist tie. (This is back in the good ’ol days when the bulk section had bulk food, and nobody minded that we all served ourselves from the bins.)
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You sidle up to the almonds, and your mouth starts to water ... But, wait! What’s this? Stray almonds all over — in the tray beneath the dispenser and on the floor! And you think to yourself, Goodness, people are wasteful! What a shame!

You’re well experienced with this machine. You wrap your bag purposefully around the spout and hold tightly with one hand while you ease down the lever, ever so carefully, with the other. Not too fast, little almonds. And dozens of those delicious nuggets pad softly into your bag as they’re supposed to — not one escapes. You smile with satisfaction. This is how it’s done, people.

Once you have enough, you ease up on the lever to close off the flow. You take away the bag; you’re about to reach for the twist tie when …

Oh no! Oh, goodness! There’s tapping — still tapping! — and your head snaps back to the dreadful scene ...

Almonds unrestrained! Malfunction! What’s happening?

You jump into action, back in there to save them. You stuff your bag under the spout again, but your fingers are tripping all over themselves, and the bag just collapses while almonds shoot past, pinging off the tray, into your basket, and all over the floor! No, not on the floor!!

Then you see it: an almond, stuck way up in the chute! For pity’s sake, jammed in there like that, the valve can’t close!

You grab for the lever — you’ll fix this — and you give a good yank. Yet in your befuddlement, you err ... There’s a startling gush of almonds, unleashed! And with horror you realize you’ve brought the valve wide open!

A torrent ensues. Almonds fly at you, inside your coat, mounding up in your basket, pounding the floor. It’s madness! Oh, stop! MAKE IT STOP!

You just know by now everyone’s staring, but you don’t dare turn your head cuz you can’t let them see what a state you’re in: all flustered and sweating. You have to end this! End it now! You muster everything in you, and you shove that lever as hard as you can. This time it crunches and jolts … and finally goes all the way closed.

The deluge subsides.
Silence, at last.
The whole store has gone still.

Your hand remains on the lever. For a moment, you don’t move. Then your shoulders heave as you let out your breath. You survey the damage ...

Nope, it’s too far gone; there’s nothing you can do. You slink away with your overflowing almond bag and your violated shopping basket.

Well, you can’t just walk off and leave such a disaster. You square your shoulders and track down an unsuspecting employee. “Ah …, I’m so very sorry … There was a little trouble in the bulk foods section …” You give your sweetest smile. “Don’t bother with the dustpan,” you tell her helpfully. “You’re going to need a shovel … and the big garbage bin.”

Awkward moment where you stare at each other ... “Oh, and uh … You’re out of almonds.”

You hand her your basket and make your escape.
 
From Thankful
Copyright © by 2022 Sandra Grace